-remember the boy who had been kidnapped a coupla weeks ago?well,the police actually found him.it was pretty emotional reunion with his family.but there was an awkward moment near the end when an officer accidentally shot him.
-& Public Service PS Muthaura was taken in sick at the Nairobi Hospital.there was a lot of media interest,but his doctor came out to say it wasn't serious & that infact Muthaura had driven himself to hospital.then it turned out that he had to be flown to South Africa for further treatment.still,his doctor said everything is fine & that he actually flew the plane himself.
-Tusker Project Fame is back.those not familiar with the concept,well its a show where aspiring musicians are put in a house where they learn the ropes of the music industry.through the length of the show,viewers vote them off one by one.the last one left wins a car,a recording deal & the opportunity to never be heard from again.
-Classic FM have started a campaign through ads where they educate the public on how to act when faced with a carjacking incident.they say that when it happens,you shouldn't argue with the carjackers.you should just surrender your keys.yeah,the campaign is sponsored by Association of Allied Criminals.
-well anyway,they say your life is worth more than a car.apparently this message specifically directed at owners of Toyota Starlets.
-Nazlin Umar,remember her?she ran for president in 2007.well she appeared in court this week on the charge of theft of cars.finally,she decide to get serious with politics.
well 2 british brothers are accusing her of stealing 3 Sports Rovers from them. rumor has it that she was going to use the cars to carry all of the people who voted for her in the last election.
-Kibaki called a crisis meeting to discuss what to do after Ocampo received the envelope from Annan.yeah,twas really an emergency meeting.nevertheless,they spent the first 45 minutes talking about Michael Jackson.
-after that they have held a coupla more meetings on the issue of forming local courts to try suspects.so thats what Kibaki & Raila have been tasked with at the moment.making sure this is done swiftly & efficiently.Kalonzo's job at the meetings is to ensure the mandazis dont run out.
-well,that was the big news of the last week.Annan finally handed in the envelope.& there's a media blitz over the issue.the press are extensively covering the story.experts say this could be a big boost to the envelope manufacturing industry.
-NTV has a new look.they changed everything:the sets,logo,slogan,etc.practically everything.well except for the crappy local programs.those are still there.
-former Liberian president Charles Taylor finally apeared at the ICC to face charges of genocide,crimes against humanity & war crimes.he pleaded not guilty to all charges.on hearing this,Ruto said,"hey,we can do that?".
-& none is sweating more than Ruto.he claims he's sure his name is in the envelope.well,what do you know.who would have known Ruto's criminal activities extended beyond theft of maize.
Friday, July 17, 2009
Friday, June 26, 2009
-the government will foot the bills of those injured in the tanker blast.so if you thought the government was selfish & only wastes money on the idiots in parliament,you've been proved wrong.they will waste money on idiots anywhere.
-for the last 2 weeks,the Iranian election has been a trending topic on Twitter.it has really raised site's profile.infact,Twitter is thinking of picking it up for a second season.
-almost 2 dozen people have been confirmed dead in the violence that broke out after that election.the country will mourn those killed next week.& on that day,Ahmadinejad's jacket will be flown at half-mast.
-& the government has defended itself regarding the shooting of a 16 year old girl during the protests even though it was filmed & circulated round the internet.they say the video may be a fake & besides its not clear who shot whom.really?who does this guy think he is?Alfred Mutua?
-as you know the election in Iran was disputed & for more than a week now there have been protests,people have been killed,& life is not the same.its good to see that finally there's something that Kenyans can set the trend on.
-anyway,Iran is different from other middle eastern states.its very liberal.like just recently,the government lifted the ban on Orals.
-its also very progressive.they maybe an islamic state but they're very tech savvy.like when a woman is found to have committed adultery,she gets stoned using iPhones.
-speaking of iPhones,there's another one out already.it has even more features than the last one.yeah,they added more.it even has a Pencil Sharpener.
-& a preacher appeared in court this week for making pornographic movies.yeah,he's a preacher-cum-filmmaker.emphasis being on the word 'Cum'.
-so he preaches during the day & shoots porno at night.one of his films is called 'Jizz-Us Christ'.another one,'Land Of Milf & Horny'.
-word is,he was planning on collaborating with Fr Kizito on something new.the working title is-this is not official yet-'Let The Children Cum To Me'.
-& the 1st ever Kalasha Awards will be held tonight.it will reward Kenyan films & TV for excellence in production.but since this is Kenya 'OK' will do.
anyway,they've been forced to add a special category at the last minute due to demand.the category is 'Best Film By A Pervert Priest'.
-& Michael Jackson is dead.its a sad day i have to admit.but it now seems everything is OK in Iran.
-its impossible to ignore MJs impact on the world.he touched many lives..& children.
-well,nobody really saw this coming.i always thought you had a long way to go even after your nose dies.
-earlier reports said that MJ had been taken in sick.MJ sick?pardon me if am wrong,but in my opinion he's been sick for 25 years.
-anyway,the autopsy will be done today.its not yet been decided where he'll be buried.but rumor has it that he wanted to be buried next to his nose.
-he died at the age of 50,but his face was twelve.
-anyway,he wasn't breathing so he was taken to hospital.the medics tried but they couldn't revive him.a lot of people think that could've worked if only they took him to a children's hospital.
-for the last 2 weeks,the Iranian election has been a trending topic on Twitter.it has really raised site's profile.infact,Twitter is thinking of picking it up for a second season.
-almost 2 dozen people have been confirmed dead in the violence that broke out after that election.the country will mourn those killed next week.& on that day,Ahmadinejad's jacket will be flown at half-mast.
-& the government has defended itself regarding the shooting of a 16 year old girl during the protests even though it was filmed & circulated round the internet.they say the video may be a fake & besides its not clear who shot whom.really?who does this guy think he is?Alfred Mutua?
-as you know the election in Iran was disputed & for more than a week now there have been protests,people have been killed,& life is not the same.its good to see that finally there's something that Kenyans can set the trend on.
-anyway,Iran is different from other middle eastern states.its very liberal.like just recently,the government lifted the ban on Orals.
-its also very progressive.they maybe an islamic state but they're very tech savvy.like when a woman is found to have committed adultery,she gets stoned using iPhones.
-speaking of iPhones,there's another one out already.it has even more features than the last one.yeah,they added more.it even has a Pencil Sharpener.
-& a preacher appeared in court this week for making pornographic movies.yeah,he's a preacher-cum-filmmaker.emphasis being on the word 'Cum'.
-so he preaches during the day & shoots porno at night.one of his films is called 'Jizz-Us Christ'.another one,'Land Of Milf & Horny'.
-word is,he was planning on collaborating with Fr Kizito on something new.the working title is-this is not official yet-'Let The Children Cum To Me'.
-& the 1st ever Kalasha Awards will be held tonight.it will reward Kenyan films & TV for excellence in production.but since this is Kenya 'OK' will do.
anyway,they've been forced to add a special category at the last minute due to demand.the category is 'Best Film By A Pervert Priest'.
-& Michael Jackson is dead.its a sad day i have to admit.but it now seems everything is OK in Iran.
-its impossible to ignore MJs impact on the world.he touched many lives..& children.
-well,nobody really saw this coming.i always thought you had a long way to go even after your nose dies.
-earlier reports said that MJ had been taken in sick.MJ sick?pardon me if am wrong,but in my opinion he's been sick for 25 years.
-anyway,the autopsy will be done today.its not yet been decided where he'll be buried.but rumor has it that he wanted to be buried next to his nose.
-he died at the age of 50,but his face was twelve.
-anyway,he wasn't breathing so he was taken to hospital.the medics tried but they couldn't revive him.a lot of people think that could've worked if only they took him to a children's hospital.
Thursday, June 18, 2009
-last week the Iranis were getting ready to hold their elections.initial projections showed that the race was a tight one.'too close to call',that's what they said.or as Kibaki would call it, Imminent Victory.
-after the election,the opposition & its supporters are claiming that the election wasnt fair.they went on the rampage,blocked streets,burnt cars.in Tehran's biggest slum they actually uprooted a camel track.
-during the protests police fired live bullets & now 7 people have been confirmed dead.the world is terming it an atrocity,kenyan police are calling at soft approach.
-anyway the head of the Guardian Council agreed for a recount of some votes.this is weird.i didnt know this.his name is Ali Khamenei Kivuitu.
-in the same week,the 1st of three fibre optic cables finally reached the Kenyan coast.Kibaki was on hand to mark the event.there was an awkward moment at the beginning of his speech though when he said, ''the internet,that's the one with the Email, right?''.
-and during the event there was a Ugandan minister who accidentally reffered to Kibaki as president of the republic of Uganda.of course he apologised for that.but nonetheless the government will use 200 million to determine whether Kibaki is Kenya's or Uganda's president.
-last week,the world also marked World Day Against Child Labour.or as it was known in China, Friday.
-there's a story in the news about a catholic priest,Fr Kizito who uses hypnosis to sodomize young boys.Michael Jackson doesnt look so bad now,huh.
-so lets get this straight.he's a priest,housing alot of little boys who he puts in a trance to perform sexual acts on.if your finding this hard to follow,just think of it this way:he's Michael Jackson-meets-Hugh Heffner-meets-David Blaine.
-after filming the acts,apparently he sends them to Italy.this is 'cos they have to be approved & rated by the Vatican.
-well,lets hope this doesn't spoil the good image the church has upheld over the years.
-a exiled male Cuban blogger claims that he has for a while now been masquerading as a woman to be able to flirt with Fidel Castro's son.he did this to make him open up about his lifestyle.this would have been interesting if his lifestyle didnt include driving his 1990 Mazda Miati to the national stadium to bet on high stakes mule races.
-a UN relief food barge was hijacked in Sudan by rebels.they returned the food when they realised it was from Britain.
-& Raila's motorcade got into a bit of an accident as he was going to the Nairobi Club.he actually got out of the car to inspect the damage himself.yea,but he had to wait a few minutes for the carpet to be laid out.
-& FIFA ruled that only 36,000 fans will be allowed to watch the Kenya - Mozambique game.coach Hey isnt happy about this.he says FIFA shouldn't limit the number of fans.in his opinion every Kenyan should be given the chance to watch Harambee play like crap.
-after the election,the opposition & its supporters are claiming that the election wasnt fair.they went on the rampage,blocked streets,burnt cars.in Tehran's biggest slum they actually uprooted a camel track.
-during the protests police fired live bullets & now 7 people have been confirmed dead.the world is terming it an atrocity,kenyan police are calling at soft approach.
-anyway the head of the Guardian Council agreed for a recount of some votes.this is weird.i didnt know this.his name is Ali Khamenei Kivuitu.
-in the same week,the 1st of three fibre optic cables finally reached the Kenyan coast.Kibaki was on hand to mark the event.there was an awkward moment at the beginning of his speech though when he said, ''the internet,that's the one with the Email, right?''.
-and during the event there was a Ugandan minister who accidentally reffered to Kibaki as president of the republic of Uganda.of course he apologised for that.but nonetheless the government will use 200 million to determine whether Kibaki is Kenya's or Uganda's president.
-last week,the world also marked World Day Against Child Labour.or as it was known in China, Friday.
-there's a story in the news about a catholic priest,Fr Kizito who uses hypnosis to sodomize young boys.Michael Jackson doesnt look so bad now,huh.
-so lets get this straight.he's a priest,housing alot of little boys who he puts in a trance to perform sexual acts on.if your finding this hard to follow,just think of it this way:he's Michael Jackson-meets-Hugh Heffner-meets-David Blaine.
-after filming the acts,apparently he sends them to Italy.this is 'cos they have to be approved & rated by the Vatican.
-well,lets hope this doesn't spoil the good image the church has upheld over the years.
-a exiled male Cuban blogger claims that he has for a while now been masquerading as a woman to be able to flirt with Fidel Castro's son.he did this to make him open up about his lifestyle.this would have been interesting if his lifestyle didnt include driving his 1990 Mazda Miati to the national stadium to bet on high stakes mule races.
-a UN relief food barge was hijacked in Sudan by rebels.they returned the food when they realised it was from Britain.
-& Raila's motorcade got into a bit of an accident as he was going to the Nairobi Club.he actually got out of the car to inspect the damage himself.yea,but he had to wait a few minutes for the carpet to be laid out.
-& FIFA ruled that only 36,000 fans will be allowed to watch the Kenya - Mozambique game.coach Hey isnt happy about this.he says FIFA shouldn't limit the number of fans.in his opinion every Kenyan should be given the chance to watch Harambee play like crap.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
-the Nairobi Star published a story about how Raila's bodyguard foiled a robbery.that's cool,but talk about timing.where was he when the election was being stolen?
-Maendeleo Ya Wanaume spokesman says he'll highlight issues affecting men.like high hooker prices.
-Obama delivered a speech at Cairo University.the speech was hailed as it spoke to different demographics.like muslims liked that he separated islam & terrorism.women were happy that he talked about gender equality.kenyans say that the most important part is when he mentioned his father was a kenyan.
-did anybody see the kenya - nigeria game.it was terrible.kenya was beaten 3 - 0.infact,most men wish they'd just have watched Catalina & Sebastian.
-& alot is being said about the pitch.it wasn't exactly the best.infact,it was so bad,the harambee stars felt right at home.
-but despite the loss,kenyans are assured that there is still a mathematical chance they could get to the Cup Of Nations.for those who dont't know,mathematical chance is a polite way of saying, 'They're Screwed'.
-& as if it wasn't obvious already,American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert confessed in a Rolling Stone magazine interview that he is gay.a gay teenage boy confessing?isn't that every catholic priest's dream?
-& in the news last week,a story was carried out about a woman who had given birth to quadruplets.yeah,4 kids.isn't that something?infact,the last kid just rolled out.
-some may remember that last week China marked 20 years since the Tiananmen Square Protests.actually the story was that after the death of a prominent pro-democracy activist,the protesters started gathering at Tiananmen Square over a perod of 15 weeks & had numbered 1,000,000 when the government sent troops who executed the massacre.that's how as a country you know there's too many of you.when it take's a million people to gather at one spot for the government to realise that something's up.
-last week China shut down mini-blogging social site Twitter.my heart goes out especially to the kids.boy am i going to miss those tweets, ''5 sneakers down,17 more to go.lol''.
-& talking about shutting down social sites,Iran also shut down Facebook.& the Iranians are mad at their president.infact,the Irani peoples relationship with Ahmadinejad is now listed as complicated.
-personally dont mind the site being closed down there.i was starting to get tired of all those Holocaust-Didn't-Happen requests.
-celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay was forced to apologise to australian TV host,Tracy Grimshaw after he made sexist comments towards her.its unbelievable,Gordon Ramsy apologising?infact his exact words were, ''am fucking sorry you sodding bitch''
-there was a shooting at the Holocaust Museum in D.C.the shooter is said to be anti-semitic who denies the holocaust & believes that Anne Frank's diary is a fake.or as Ahmadinejad would describe him, a noble man.
-& the UN plans on issuing sanctions against North Korea.experts say,if carried out,it may deal a huge blow to the huge spectacles industry.
-& the budget was read today.all the roads around parliament building were closed off.they dont want cars making noise for the sleeping MPs.
-as you may know,it has been an extremely difficult financial year.government has spent alot on unplanned expenditure,like Raila's carpet.
-& this week a western Kenya MP was carjacked & robbed of an unknown amount of money.that's how you know things are bad,when thieves are stealing from thieves.talk about honour among thieves.
-apparently,there are defficient drugs in the market.people are being adviced to report to the concerned authority if they suspect the drugs they took are causing unintented effects.you know i was wondering,that explains the 3 hour boner i got after taking those painkillers.
-Maendeleo Ya Wanaume spokesman says he'll highlight issues affecting men.like high hooker prices.
-Obama delivered a speech at Cairo University.the speech was hailed as it spoke to different demographics.like muslims liked that he separated islam & terrorism.women were happy that he talked about gender equality.kenyans say that the most important part is when he mentioned his father was a kenyan.
-did anybody see the kenya - nigeria game.it was terrible.kenya was beaten 3 - 0.infact,most men wish they'd just have watched Catalina & Sebastian.
-& alot is being said about the pitch.it wasn't exactly the best.infact,it was so bad,the harambee stars felt right at home.
-but despite the loss,kenyans are assured that there is still a mathematical chance they could get to the Cup Of Nations.for those who dont't know,mathematical chance is a polite way of saying, 'They're Screwed'.
-& as if it wasn't obvious already,American Idol runner-up Adam Lambert confessed in a Rolling Stone magazine interview that he is gay.a gay teenage boy confessing?isn't that every catholic priest's dream?
-& in the news last week,a story was carried out about a woman who had given birth to quadruplets.yeah,4 kids.isn't that something?infact,the last kid just rolled out.
-some may remember that last week China marked 20 years since the Tiananmen Square Protests.actually the story was that after the death of a prominent pro-democracy activist,the protesters started gathering at Tiananmen Square over a perod of 15 weeks & had numbered 1,000,000 when the government sent troops who executed the massacre.that's how as a country you know there's too many of you.when it take's a million people to gather at one spot for the government to realise that something's up.
-last week China shut down mini-blogging social site Twitter.my heart goes out especially to the kids.boy am i going to miss those tweets, ''5 sneakers down,17 more to go.lol''.
-& talking about shutting down social sites,Iran also shut down Facebook.& the Iranians are mad at their president.infact,the Irani peoples relationship with Ahmadinejad is now listed as complicated.
-personally dont mind the site being closed down there.i was starting to get tired of all those Holocaust-Didn't-Happen requests.
-celebrity chef Gordon Ramsay was forced to apologise to australian TV host,Tracy Grimshaw after he made sexist comments towards her.its unbelievable,Gordon Ramsy apologising?infact his exact words were, ''am fucking sorry you sodding bitch''
-there was a shooting at the Holocaust Museum in D.C.the shooter is said to be anti-semitic who denies the holocaust & believes that Anne Frank's diary is a fake.or as Ahmadinejad would describe him, a noble man.
-& the UN plans on issuing sanctions against North Korea.experts say,if carried out,it may deal a huge blow to the huge spectacles industry.
-& the budget was read today.all the roads around parliament building were closed off.they dont want cars making noise for the sleeping MPs.
-as you may know,it has been an extremely difficult financial year.government has spent alot on unplanned expenditure,like Raila's carpet.
-& this week a western Kenya MP was carjacked & robbed of an unknown amount of money.that's how you know things are bad,when thieves are stealing from thieves.talk about honour among thieves.
-apparently,there are defficient drugs in the market.people are being adviced to report to the concerned authority if they suspect the drugs they took are causing unintented effects.you know i was wondering,that explains the 3 hour boner i got after taking those painkillers.
Saturday, June 6, 2009
The Carradine Case
-the body of actor David Carradine(Kung Fu,Kill Bill)was found in his Bangkok hotel room.despite a rope round his neck,it was almost immediately ruled as an accident.apparently,he was practising what is known as Auto-Erotic Asphyxiation:the practice of reaching an orgasm while oxygen supply to the brain is interfered with.in Carradine's case he tied a rope round his neck & genitals & locked himself in a closet & masturbated.why does that even have a name?who discovered it?alot of people dont know about it 'cos the only time you get caught doing it is when you're dead.so no embarrassment.doesnt this sound like something you would only catch Rob Schneider doing.
if only Uma Thurman knew this is how to Kill Bill.we wouldnt still be waiting for Kill Billl:Vol 3.
-& this incident comes as a relief to alot of comedians.infact,Bill Maher was overheard saying ''Thank You Lord''
-death by Auto Erotic Asphyxiation is now being described as th death method of choice for those who prefer laughter to mourning on their funerals.
-i only have one question,when they found him,was he 'done'.'cos it would be a shame for him to die for nothing.apparently,he masturbated so hard he went to heaven,literally.
-the last time there was such a media blitz over a celebrity incident was when an arresy warrant was issued for Michael Jackson.only that time it was about someone who was touching children & this time its about someone who was touching himself.
-& on a commemorative Larry King Live on Friday,Larry described David as a private person.i think what he meant was private parts person.
-but lets not jump to conclusions.maybe he was researching for a role.Carradine had been signed to appear as Bones on an upcoming live action Simpsons movie.i think he didnt hear well,'cos itr seems he was researching for Boner.
-this must be the stupidest thing he has done.oh,wait...he agreed to appear on that idiotic Rob Schneider movie.
-so Thai police walked into the room,found him in a closet naked with hands,neck & junk tied.& they immediately figured he was Auto-Erotic Asphyxiating.now i know why there is no CSI:Bangkok.if there was,it would last five minutes.
-according to 'experts',an orgasm reached during this act,is sort of like the high achived from taking drugs.this explains why there are no queues to the dope shop & why there is a winding queue around the rope shop.
-wasnt it just last week that Mike Tyson's 4 year old daughter was rushed to hospital after a cord was found round her neck & she later died?what are we not being told about that story?huh
-the head investigator in the Carradine case is called Porntip Rojanasunan.ok,now am sure we're all being Punk'd.
if only Uma Thurman knew this is how to Kill Bill.we wouldnt still be waiting for Kill Billl:Vol 3.
-& this incident comes as a relief to alot of comedians.infact,Bill Maher was overheard saying ''Thank You Lord''
-death by Auto Erotic Asphyxiation is now being described as th death method of choice for those who prefer laughter to mourning on their funerals.
-i only have one question,when they found him,was he 'done'.'cos it would be a shame for him to die for nothing.apparently,he masturbated so hard he went to heaven,literally.
-the last time there was such a media blitz over a celebrity incident was when an arresy warrant was issued for Michael Jackson.only that time it was about someone who was touching children & this time its about someone who was touching himself.
-& on a commemorative Larry King Live on Friday,Larry described David as a private person.i think what he meant was private parts person.
-but lets not jump to conclusions.maybe he was researching for a role.Carradine had been signed to appear as Bones on an upcoming live action Simpsons movie.i think he didnt hear well,'cos itr seems he was researching for Boner.
-this must be the stupidest thing he has done.oh,wait...he agreed to appear on that idiotic Rob Schneider movie.
-so Thai police walked into the room,found him in a closet naked with hands,neck & junk tied.& they immediately figured he was Auto-Erotic Asphyxiating.now i know why there is no CSI:Bangkok.if there was,it would last five minutes.
-according to 'experts',an orgasm reached during this act,is sort of like the high achived from taking drugs.this explains why there are no queues to the dope shop & why there is a winding queue around the rope shop.
-wasnt it just last week that Mike Tyson's 4 year old daughter was rushed to hospital after a cord was found round her neck & she later died?what are we not being told about that story?huh
-the head investigator in the Carradine case is called Porntip Rojanasunan.ok,now am sure we're all being Punk'd.
Thursday, June 4, 2009
Howzit My China
-in the weekend,some 5 married priests were ordained into the catholic church.& of course this is drawing a lot of criticism.catholics believe that priests are better equipped to serve the church if they have a relationship with only God & altar boys.
-the priests are saying they're also human & deserve to get a chance to raise a family.apparently,they got tired of fondling other people's kids & decided to have their own.
-Tusker Project Fame is back.The makers say they hope the project serves its purpose of growing the music industry.yes,they want to grow it big enough to fit into Achieng' Abura's dress.
-& MPs passed a motion to allow for military intervention over the Migingo row.apparently this is being looked at as a fight for fishing ground,& Ugandan president Museveni said that the island is Kenyan but the water is Ugandan.you know how he figured the fish was Ugandan?its 'cos the fish cant speak english.
-Nation Media Group CEO said that they are planning on launching a new TV station.& following on footsteps of 1,2 Many, Wash & Set,etc, their aim will be to create programs that no one really wants to watch.
-Kiss FM will also launch a TV station,KissTV.& kenyans are really excited.they cant wait to see one program repeated 117 times a day.
-Osama bin Laden's 2nd in command released a video this week.apart from denouncing & threatening western powers,he expressed his dissapointment at Susan Boyle's loss on Britain's Got Talent.
-as you all know,Susan Boyle came second on Britain's Got Talent.which I've been trying to do for a long time.(dont worry,you'll get it)
-the EU will hold continent-wide elections this week.& Raila called a press conference to announce that Kibaki was planning on stealing that election.
-Kenya has refused to take in more pirates captured in the Indian Ocean.Kenya's argument is that the 212 MPs in parliament stealing from the public is as much pirates as they can take.
-K24 has been running a feature they've dubbed Kenya Inc. where they have viewers vote for people they'd rather see as president.1 of the front-runners is Safaricom CEO, Michael Joseph.its obvious that kenyans want change.after years of having fellow africans steal from them,they'd rather a white guy steal from them now.
-what a week:hawkers clashed with police in the city centre & live bullets were used,a man was whisked away after heckling the president at the madaraka day celebrations & the president proceeded to insult him & there's a new poisonous fertilizer scandal brewing.looks like things are back to normal.
-China is commemorating 20 years since the Tiananmen Square protests.say what you will,but China has come a long way in terms of human rights issues in my opinion.like 20 years ago dissenting citizens would be executed by a firing squad in public squares.but now,they take you to a secret location & hang you.
-seriously,a decade ago the chinese government would order tanks to roll over people.nowdays they kill kids using tainted milk & lead infested toys.
-its already 20 years since the Tiananmen Square protests.it just seems like twas yesterday.but in china,thats a long time,especially if you consider kids born around that time already have 15 years work experience.
-& some people are commemorating the day by boycotting the use of chinese products.apparently,its not working 'cos everything is made in china.
-chinese officials are barring western media from taping or photographing the memorial ceremony.they dont really have to use force.nobody can see anything through that polluted Beijing air.
-even though the government refutes it,the Red Cross once reported that upto 214,00 people were killed when the military intervened in the protests.you know what they call 214,00 people in china?..a Dozen.
-the priests are saying they're also human & deserve to get a chance to raise a family.apparently,they got tired of fondling other people's kids & decided to have their own.
-Tusker Project Fame is back.The makers say they hope the project serves its purpose of growing the music industry.yes,they want to grow it big enough to fit into Achieng' Abura's dress.
-& MPs passed a motion to allow for military intervention over the Migingo row.apparently this is being looked at as a fight for fishing ground,& Ugandan president Museveni said that the island is Kenyan but the water is Ugandan.you know how he figured the fish was Ugandan?its 'cos the fish cant speak english.
-Nation Media Group CEO said that they are planning on launching a new TV station.& following on footsteps of 1,2 Many, Wash & Set,etc, their aim will be to create programs that no one really wants to watch.
-Kiss FM will also launch a TV station,KissTV.& kenyans are really excited.they cant wait to see one program repeated 117 times a day.
-Osama bin Laden's 2nd in command released a video this week.apart from denouncing & threatening western powers,he expressed his dissapointment at Susan Boyle's loss on Britain's Got Talent.
-as you all know,Susan Boyle came second on Britain's Got Talent.which I've been trying to do for a long time.(dont worry,you'll get it)
-the EU will hold continent-wide elections this week.& Raila called a press conference to announce that Kibaki was planning on stealing that election.
-Kenya has refused to take in more pirates captured in the Indian Ocean.Kenya's argument is that the 212 MPs in parliament stealing from the public is as much pirates as they can take.
-K24 has been running a feature they've dubbed Kenya Inc. where they have viewers vote for people they'd rather see as president.1 of the front-runners is Safaricom CEO, Michael Joseph.its obvious that kenyans want change.after years of having fellow africans steal from them,they'd rather a white guy steal from them now.
-what a week:hawkers clashed with police in the city centre & live bullets were used,a man was whisked away after heckling the president at the madaraka day celebrations & the president proceeded to insult him & there's a new poisonous fertilizer scandal brewing.looks like things are back to normal.
-China is commemorating 20 years since the Tiananmen Square protests.say what you will,but China has come a long way in terms of human rights issues in my opinion.like 20 years ago dissenting citizens would be executed by a firing squad in public squares.but now,they take you to a secret location & hang you.
-seriously,a decade ago the chinese government would order tanks to roll over people.nowdays they kill kids using tainted milk & lead infested toys.
-its already 20 years since the Tiananmen Square protests.it just seems like twas yesterday.but in china,thats a long time,especially if you consider kids born around that time already have 15 years work experience.
-& some people are commemorating the day by boycotting the use of chinese products.apparently,its not working 'cos everything is made in china.
-chinese officials are barring western media from taping or photographing the memorial ceremony.they dont really have to use force.nobody can see anything through that polluted Beijing air.
-even though the government refutes it,the Red Cross once reported that upto 214,00 people were killed when the military intervened in the protests.you know what they call 214,00 people in china?..a Dozen.
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
-last week,hawkers protesting in Mombasa burnt down a fire-truck.& this was not your usual fire truck.its computerised & is valued at 50 million.what an investment,a 50 million computerised fire truck that cant put itself out.i guess it wasn't programmed to Stop,Drop & Roll.
-the Tamil Tigers finally admitted that their leader is dead.they didn't admit earlier 'cos they thought it was embarassing that he had died of a heart attack after watching the American Idol finale.
-Maendeleo Ya Wanaume are claiming that 48% of married men admitted to pollsters that they're abused in their marriages.of course this shocked everybody.none was more shocked than Chris Brown.they said that the most abused are professionals,including politicians,lawyers,doctors & at least one president.
-remember that 23 year old Kibera boy that was shot during the post election violence?he's been in the news alot lately.alot of of people really responding to his plight now after it was highlighted in the news.support is pouring in from everywhere.people are pledging food,cash & to offset his medical bills.& Maddona offered to be his girlfriend.
-& the trial of the captured pirate is going on on New York.Interpol describes Pirates as with just basic education,poor & with access to guns.which is also how we describe our police force.
-North Korea has been testing nuclear missiles this week.& those missiles did a good job at knocking the Swine Flu stories off the headlines.I think all these things that are supposedly supposed to kill us are all in the minds of hypochondriac western media editors.last week we were all supposed to be killed by a disease that came from the union of a pig & a pigeon & now we're all going to be killed by the short crazy guy with heavy glasses,the same guy the same media reported a couple of months ago was dead.
-PLO Lumumba has released a book.i believe its called Conglomerates Against Obfuscate Maleficence & Barbiturate For Dummies.
-& back to Maendeleo Ya Wanaume,the spokesman had also called for the removal of the statue of a nude boy at the High Court entrance.this drew alot of interest.Madonna is already trying to adopt it,some catholic priests want to turn it into an altar boy,& Michael Jackson is asking if he can borrow it for the weekend.
-& yesterday there was a special edition of Larry King Live where all of the top 10 American Idols were interviewed by Ryan Seacrest.he got deep with the questions.he asked Anoop about his initial friction with Kara.he asked Lil' Rounds about coping with the genres.he asked Randy about the future of Idols,& then he asked Adam if he could borrow his lipgloss.
-& there's a new crime wave involving a group of people posing as police & robbing people after tricking them into believing that they need them to help out with investigations.the public is being warned to be wary of these fake cops.the commisioner is educating how to tell a real cop from a phoney.if a real cop wants you to help in investigations,they shoot you first.
-& Kimani Maruge,the world's oldest pupil got baptised over the weekend.i respect this guy,he's reaching milestone after milestone.i mean he enrollrd in school,can now read,learnt to write his name.achieved his dream of finally reading the bible.i think losing his virginity is next in line.
-the Tamil Tigers finally admitted that their leader is dead.they didn't admit earlier 'cos they thought it was embarassing that he had died of a heart attack after watching the American Idol finale.
-Maendeleo Ya Wanaume are claiming that 48% of married men admitted to pollsters that they're abused in their marriages.of course this shocked everybody.none was more shocked than Chris Brown.they said that the most abused are professionals,including politicians,lawyers,doctors & at least one president.
-remember that 23 year old Kibera boy that was shot during the post election violence?he's been in the news alot lately.alot of of people really responding to his plight now after it was highlighted in the news.support is pouring in from everywhere.people are pledging food,cash & to offset his medical bills.& Maddona offered to be his girlfriend.
-& the trial of the captured pirate is going on on New York.Interpol describes Pirates as with just basic education,poor & with access to guns.which is also how we describe our police force.
-North Korea has been testing nuclear missiles this week.& those missiles did a good job at knocking the Swine Flu stories off the headlines.I think all these things that are supposedly supposed to kill us are all in the minds of hypochondriac western media editors.last week we were all supposed to be killed by a disease that came from the union of a pig & a pigeon & now we're all going to be killed by the short crazy guy with heavy glasses,the same guy the same media reported a couple of months ago was dead.
-PLO Lumumba has released a book.i believe its called Conglomerates Against Obfuscate Maleficence & Barbiturate For Dummies.
-& back to Maendeleo Ya Wanaume,the spokesman had also called for the removal of the statue of a nude boy at the High Court entrance.this drew alot of interest.Madonna is already trying to adopt it,some catholic priests want to turn it into an altar boy,& Michael Jackson is asking if he can borrow it for the weekend.
-& yesterday there was a special edition of Larry King Live where all of the top 10 American Idols were interviewed by Ryan Seacrest.he got deep with the questions.he asked Anoop about his initial friction with Kara.he asked Lil' Rounds about coping with the genres.he asked Randy about the future of Idols,& then he asked Adam if he could borrow his lipgloss.
-& there's a new crime wave involving a group of people posing as police & robbing people after tricking them into believing that they need them to help out with investigations.the public is being warned to be wary of these fake cops.the commisioner is educating how to tell a real cop from a phoney.if a real cop wants you to help in investigations,they shoot you first.
-& Kimani Maruge,the world's oldest pupil got baptised over the weekend.i respect this guy,he's reaching milestone after milestone.i mean he enrollrd in school,can now read,learnt to write his name.achieved his dream of finally reading the bible.i think losing his virginity is next in line.
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